I woke with a smile this morning. My bed was a cozy cocoon – silky sheets, soft pillows, the oh so comfortable comforter. And then there was Kerri’s warm body next to me, connected to another smiling face. We transitioned our conscious states gradually, awakened by the sunlight streaming through our window; there was no harsh alarm to jar us into the new day. Instead of rising, I lay there and just let my thoughts flow over how good everything felt and how much I appreciated everything in my life. And I grew excited to write this.
We all want to feel good. Deep inside, we know that when we feel good we attract more of that which makes us feel good. While this is such a simple formula, it’s surprising how difficult it can be to remain in a positive mood. In my conversations with folks, I’m convinced that maintaining a happy mood is the single biggest challenge we all face in attracting that which we desire.
Why is that?
I think the primary reason is that we have developed a bad habit of where we place our attention. We tend to let our minds focus on the things that we believe need fixing in our lives. If no problem is readily available, we often continue the search until we find what we are looking for. Our motivation underlying this habit is most likely well-intentioned –- we believe that by focusing on a problem we are somehow being “productive” and making our lives better.
Yet stop and think about this habit for a moment. Does focusing your energy on having to fix stuff feel good? No, it doesn’t. Does the process ever end? No, there’s just an endless stream of things that are problems that need to be fixed.
What this habit of thought does is keep your attention on what you do not have, rather than all that you do have. When we come from a feeling of lack, we create a greater feeling of lack. When we come from a place of abundance, we create a greater feeling of abundance. That’s how it works.
The lynchpin in consistently feeling good is gratitude. Expressing gratitude leads you to attract more of that which make you feel grateful. What’s more, expressing gratitude has the power to immediately derail a train of negative thought. Just try and feel grateful and bad at the same time, I dare you.
Here’s the true power of gratitude…
When you can feel grateful for all the events in your life — especially those that might not initially feel very good at all — you will open yourself up to experience true abundance in every aspect of your life.
As one example, over the past few years, I’ve spent many hours thinking about the absence of my parents in my life. My habits of thought would not allow me to see anything good in this situation. When I’d see others in my age cohort with two vibrant parents with whom they could share their life experiences, I’d often fill up with feelings of resentment.
Why did I have to experience this pain and they did not? How was that fair?
I’ve allowed my thoughts to visit this place hundreds of times and not one good feeling has ever come from putting my attention there. Not a one. In fact, putting my attention in this very negative place was the trigger that would release an avalanche of negative feelings that would take me days to dig out from.
Old habits can be tough to break, but they are just that – habits – and they can be changed. More and more I am aware of those old thought patterns and can then shift my attention on how much I appreciate the time I shared with my parents.
And guess what happens when I do this? My whole body vibrates good feelings about all I have been given. There’s no more heading into the dark abyss of one bad thought after another.
With all events in our lives, there is a gift in the situation. And with any gift, it’s always up to each of us as to whether or not we decide to open that gift. We get to choose. Always.
Gradually (yes, this has taken time and tears), I’ve come to see that there is nothing “wrong” with this or any other life situation. Instead it’s been my habits of where I place my attention that have caused the problem, not the events.
When I look for how I can feel grateful, I become aware of all of the benefits (yes, benefits!) of experiencing these losses. For instance, compared to most folks, I think this experience has made me rather fearless in many of my life choices. This absence of fear has allowed me to prosper and to live a life full of freedom. I feel so very grateful for all the freedom in my life, and in turn, the universe sends me more and more that supports my love of freedom. That’s the circle (and power) of gratitude.
So whenever you become aware that your thought patterns are driving down the same old dead ends, hang a U-turn. Concentrate on all that you have. Be grateful that you have a bed to sleep in. Be grateful for the warm sun. Be grateful that your car starts. Be grateful for hot water in the shower. Be grateful for the garbage man who whisks away the trash. Be grateful for the music that brightens your day. Be grateful that every day takes you close to who you really are. Wake up and see the wonder that surrounds you.
Practice this habit of being thankful for all you have and two wonderful things will happen. First, you will be able to tackle any bad mood and you will feel better and better. Second, you’re positive thoughts will work in tandem with the universe to create more and more for you to feel thankful about.
Stare at the light, and you’ll not experience the dark.