I was watching a short film called “The Journey” the other day. The movie was about a young man who’d just graduated from college and was traveling around the country in a VW bus, seeking out leaders and asking for their advice in what makes a person successful. I was particularly taken by the response of Dan Millman, author of The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. Mr. Milliman said that his advice would be to “trust the process of your life as it unfolds.”
The more I thought about the meaning of those words, the more they clearly are at the foundation of attraction. Trust. The Process. Of Your Life Unfolding.
In order to live by the attraction principles, it takes a great deal of faith. Most of us grow accustomed to living our lives in a linear fashion, limiting ourselves in our beliefs of what’s possible. We don’t really allow ourselves to think too big; to see ourselves as the creator of all we experience. Instead we usually choose to see the world as a place where things just happen to us and often our best recourse is to just keep our heads low and avoid trouble.
Attraction requires the faith that you have the power over what you get in life. As someone who practices feeling good as a way of getting what I want, I can tell you that there are many times when things happen that I cannot explain. Things that feel very bad. How could I attract them in the vibrations I’m putting out there are positive? First I’m sure that much of the time, even though I’d like to believe I’m full of positive energy, the universe cannot be fooled. And I get a true reflection of how I feel sent back to me. However, my next point speaks this trusting of the process that I believe is so important when living by attraction.
My Dad died a few years ago at the age of 69. The next month, we had to place my mother in a full-time care facility – a nursing home – where she has lived ever since. She lives with Alzheimer’s disease. I can tell you that dealing with her and her condition has been the most difficult challenge of my life. As hard as I try to stay positive in her presence, somewhere in my visit, I fail. My mother was a nurse, someone who took excellent care of herself. She ate well, exercised every day, and was constantly reading, traveling, learning new things. Why the hell did this happen to her? And why did this happen to me?
And why did I start going bald at the age of 18? Why me? Why didn’t I get into Notre Dame when I was applying to college? My grades were better than the other kid who got in. Why me? Why did I get rejected from every graduate program in clinical psychology I applied to? Why me? Why did the IRS single me out for tax infraction? Why me? Why did I get into that car accident? If I had just left my house ten seconds later, it never would have happened. Why me?
We all have things in our life that do not feel very good. Yet we quickly judge all events to fit into the categories of “good” and “bad.” Often it takes time to gain the perspective on life events as to their true impact. Something happens where we get what we do not want and we feel bad. While this is understandable, we know that feeling bad will only attract more that will make us feel bad. And even for those people who do not buy into the concept of attraction, I say, attraction aside, has you’re feeling bad about your life ever helped you in any way?
As I’ve said about the situation with my mother, in some cases it’s very difficult to feel good. I do not know if I’ll ever be successful with regards to my mom. But I do know that it’s important to be aware, it’s important to keep trying to direct my energy in a positive place. In larger sense, the LOA is predicated on the idea that the universe is a benevolent place. The universe wants only good things for you. This is a positive place, the most positive place. We are here to learn. We are here to grow. We are here to live lives full of joy. Yes, things that feel bad happen us and in the world at large. We get fired form a job. Someone we love leaves us. Babies die. Moms get Alzheimer’s. There are wars. We can focus our energy in those places, asking ourselves the unanswerable question of “why me?” or we can take that leap of faith that requires us to believe that there is a process to our life unfolding.
Though we may not understand why things are happening as they are, trusting requires us to feel that there is an order to things, even if we cannot see it right now. Our job then is to trust in this universe, to remain positive, and to keep our heads us so we can gather the fruits that are born from these challenging events.
I know many people who scoff at trusting in the goodness of the universe. “Look at the state of the world! If the universe we such a good place, why would these things happen? I mean, c’mon. Aren’t you just sticking you head in the sand by just feeling good?” they say. What those folks do not realize is that it’s work to choose to feel good. It goes against years of strong beliefs, of the thoughts that have been programmed into our heads. In that way, it’s more challenging to trust in the goodness of things rather than being cynical.
By coming from this place that the universe wants only good things for me, I am able to minimize the impact of daily events that don’t feel so good. Instead of powerfully reacting and putting myself in a negative way, I am better able to take things in stride and avoid a downward spiral. I can keep a more even keel and continue to attract positive things rather than let a bump in the road throw me completely off course as it would in the past. What’s more, I can look back on the events that were the absolute worst things that could have happened to me at the time with a new perspective of how they were actually just what I needed.
For example, I feel much more like “me” with a shaved head than I ever did with hair. Even if I could grow my hair back, I do not think I would. I do not think I could have had more fun, learned more, or made better friends than I did by going to college at SUNY Geneseo. That was the perfect place for me, though I didn’t know that before getting rejected by Notre Dame. Because I did not get into a clinical psychology program, I applied to social psychology. Clinical psychology is what I thought I wanted to do, but after spending years along side of those folks in grad school, it was clear to me that I would have been miserable in that field. Social psychology fit my interest perfectly. I had no clue when I was applying. I just knew the way I believed things ought to be. But as it always does, the universe knew what was best for me.
With my mother’s situation, I’d be lying if I said I knew why this was happening. Yet, I choose to trust that this is a process in my life that is unfolding. One day I’ll know exactly how this fits into the larger scheme of things. There is great comfort in that belief. As of this writing, I can tell you that losing my parents has made me much stronger, more independent, and more willing to take the risks to go after what I really want in life. While I miss my parents’ presence in my life, I feel free to live in the manner of my choosing. I’ve learned that life is short. Tomorrow is no promised to any of us. Why wouldn’t you be full of joy today?
The more you refrain from judging every event in your life as either good or bad and trust that good can come from any situation if you allow it, the more you open yourself up and allow yourself to attract that which will bring you joy.